THE ART OF LEARNING HOW TO FORGIVE

THE ART OF LEARNING HOW TO FORGIVE

The holidays are a time for counting our blessings, reconnecting with loved ones and enjoying festive family traditions. For many, it’s also a time when emotions run high and past hurts come bubbling up to the surface. Whether it’s a family member, co-worker, friend, or ex-lover, there’s bound to be someone in your life who has wronged you. When the hurt runs deep, forgiveness is often the last thing on our minds.

Make it about you

Hurt feelings left to fester create negative energy that often manifests itself as physical discomfort. Not only does letting go of a grudge lower your blood pressure and relieve anxiety, it also helps you sleep better, makes you feel more energetic and gives you the motivation to redefine yourself and transform your life.

Understand what forgiveness is (and what it isn’t)

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you condone their actions or that what they did to you was okay. It also doesn’t relieve the other person from being accountable for their behaviour or require you to simply “get over it.”

Decide if you’re ready

Before you can truly let go, you’ll need to decide whether you really want to forgive the person in question

Explore your resentment

Once you’ve decided you’re ready, you’ll need to take a deep dive and explore your emotions. C

Look for an opportunity to grow

Take a step back and ask yourself how you can learn from what happened. Do you need to be clearer about your boundaries? Could you have been more in-tune to what the other person needed from you? Would better communication have helped you avoid the situation?

Practice empathy

While you’re re-examining what happened to you, try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. Is it possible that you’ve overreacted or the person who hurt you did so unintentionally?

Say the words and let it go

Finally, decide whether you’ll tell the person who hurt you that you forgive them. Because this process is completely about you, there’s no reason to communicate this information unless you want to. If you choose not to reach out, simply say to yourself out loud: “I forgive you,” and allow yourself to truly believe it.

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